Sarah is tired of being woken up by church bells, and when she is approached by several women who express their own frustrations with the church, she joins their organization. Unfortunately, she's unaware that they are a radical anti-abortion group.
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The Silverman sisters become contestants on their favorite TV show in hopes of winning the money to replace their mom's tombstone. Sarah’s obsession with doodie humor rocks her relationship with Laura and threatens the honor of their departed mother.
Sarah wagers that it’s easier to be a black person in America than a Jewish person, and attempts to prove it by becoming “black” for a day with the help of a makeup artist. Meanwhile, Brian and Steve miscalculate the potency of medical marijuana.
Sarah’s curiosity is piqued when Doug, her dog, repeatedly licks his own ass. When she finally gives in to temptation and takes a taste for herself, she is witnessed in the act. Doug gets taken away from Sarah, sending her on a quest for redemption.
When Sarah’s cherished Hamburglar doll goes missing, she fires her maid, Dora, believing she stole it. Without a maid, Sarah’s life descends into squalor and chaos. Realizing she needs her maid back, Sarah sets out for Mexico, where Dora has relocated.
Sarah enters into a serious romance with God. She starts to sour on his neediness and deep-seated insecurity, but she also wants to show him off at her high school reunion. Brian and Steve wonder if marijuana is what originally caused them to be gay.
Sarah becomes an adult bed-wetter. Brian is very attached to his long beard, despite the fact that Steve hates it. Their relationship is tested when Brian slips on an escalator and gets the beard irreversibly stuck in the machinery.
Sarah discovers her Russian ancestors were raped by Mongolians. Believing this has personally affected her, Sarah sues the entire nation of Mongolia. Steve’s homemade short films get him some popularity with a demographic he’d never thought possible.
Sarah loses her keys, so has no choice but to become homeless. Brian professes his loyalty to the dark lord by getting a Satan tattoo, and Steve’s faith is called into question when four terrible things happen to his penis at the same time.
Sarah thinks she’s psychic but quickly discovers her friends are just really predictable and boring. Her answer is to abandon her friends and trade them in for new ones. Steve realizes his pot-tits are out of control when he slams them in a window.
Sarah is oblivious to the fact that she is 9-months pregnant, assuming she’s just been bloated. Steve throws his back out on the toilet, and Brian goes to save him. In doing so, he ends up in a similar predicament.
Sarah thinks she sees Osama Bin Laden on the street and runs him over with her car. After discovering it wasn't him, she is ridiculed by the public and sets out to make sure that no one forgets 9/11. Steve causes a catastrophe at a local massage parlor.
Sarah gets high for the first time and leaves herself a voicemail imploring herself to treat her stoned thoughts seriously. Jay inadvertently lets the world know that he had a nocturnal emission as a result of a dream about a local news correspondent.
Sarah discovers that her father is not dead. When she and her father reconnect, they form a soft rock cover band. Brian spends a ridiculous amount of money on a DVD and commits to watching it enough times to make his purchase more economical.
Sarah strives to leave a legacy by creating a popular slang word: "Ozay." While she struggles to get others interested, Brian effortlessly succeeds in the same pursuit with his word, "Dot-nose."
Sarah mocks the institution of marriage by announcing that she and her dog, Doug, are engaged. When Doug saves Sarah's life, she ceases to view the "engagement" as sarcastic. Brian and Steve discover an old pickle jar that Steve farted in 10 years ago.